There are a huge number of misconceptions about BDSM circulating the vanilla world, but one of the biggest ones is that it’s just about pain. BDSM, a lot of people seem to think, is all about whips and floggers. It’s regular sex, but with a bit of pain added in to give it an edge.

This stereotype is usually perpetuated by people who have very little knowledge of BDSM and all its attached subcultures. Quite often they’ll only know what they’ve seen in films, or read about in (shudder) Fifty Shades Of Grey. In short, they pretty much don’t get it.

Quite apart from anything else, there are many aspects to BDSM that involve no pain whatsoever. Some people simply enjoy being bound and unable to escape, while others are into painless play like sploshing or hypnosis. For still others the threat of pain is enough – and their BDSM play is defined by strict rules and potential punishments.

And even when pain is involved, it tends to go a lot deeper than just a little light whipping to work up some adrenaline. By enduring intense and painful experiences with their dominant, submissives are able to open themselves up to new experiences, and deepen their understanding of not only their sexuality… but also themselves.

That said, this myth doesn’t seem likely to die out anytime soon. But the next time someone tells you that BDSM is all about pain… why not help it on its way a little, and educate them about just what BDSM really means.