The Science on Being a Mistress
I am currently on a journey of self-discovery of my domme side and what better example of female dominance than the London Mistress. London has a lot to offer when it comes to the BDSM lifestyle. And for me personally, I find the Mistresses of this city as the perfect representation of female dominance, exuding with confidence, strict disciplinarian and in their unique way, hot as hell. It seems that a lot of women are now getting into this business. I can’t help but think what does it take to be a “Mistress”, while checking the profiles of these women in all their glory.
In this lifestyle, Mistress is not the adulterous woman engaging in sex with a married man. Although it is possible in BDSM, but that’s not just it. Merriam-Webster defines Mistress as “a woman who has power, authority, or ownership” or “something personified as female that rules, directs or dominates”. So what’s the difference of a Mistress and a Dominatrix? I really do not know. In my research of Dommes it appears that “Mistress” is used as a title. Whatever the difference is, let’s save that thought for further research.
So what does it take to be a Mistress? Confidence, skilled and knowledgeable in BDSM activities, and of course a strong character is the makings of a London Mistress. Aside from that, of course you have to look the part!
As I read the profiles of some Mistresses, I noticed how they assert themselves. There is something seductive on how they introduce themselves. They know that men want them and own it. It’s easy to point out the Pro-Dommes from the lot. They know that they are being worshipped as goddesses. You can already sense control on how they wrote their profiles. Just oozing with confidence but not to the point of being cocky.
We often say knowledge is power. When you have the knowledge on how things work, you’ll have the power to control things. In my previous write up about London Dominatrix School, the psychology behind every BDSM activity is discussed. Knowing how your sub/slave thinks means that you have the power to be in charge not just because he wants you to be in charge. An effective Mistress has control over how her sub/slaves think. Say for example a sub/slave says pegging is a hard limit for them. As the Mistress you have to find a work around this. Ask his thoughts about it and address them. Ease his mind to it. Don’t just enforce it. The Mistress’ role is to seduce the sub/slave to doing what you want because you want it. Brushing over a hard limit is a breach of trust. Nothing wrong with asking questions, this is a way to gain knowledge of your sub/slave. And as for skill set, corporal punishment, rope play, chastity, urethral sounding, these comes with practice. Study about it, research and ask questions. Then keep on practicing. Practice makes perfect.
In this lifestyle, if you want to become a Mistress you have to have the stomach for it. You have to be mean often times. I have met a few Mistresses. Personally I did not think they were mean. However, once in session, you better get your shit together. A Mistress has to keep her stand about things, do not fold. However there are times they do negotiate just to work up the sub/slave to do what the Mistress wants.
The look of the typical Mistress is fierce. Always fierce. They have to maintain that authoritative and intimidating persona. No matter the body shape and the clothes. One thing that helps creating that domineering look is to wear heels. The higher they are the better! This also helps with posture. If you are aiming to be a Mistress, wearing heels is a must! I don’t think I have seen a picture of a Mistress in her flats yet.
In my observations of a London Mistress I can’t help but be envy of her. For one they always wear fabulous heels! They get paid handsomely for getting worshipped. And they have this aura that draws people especially the men. They have full control of everything. However, it is not easy to be a Mistress. You have to have the proper mindset for this role. It’s not all spank spank spank! You’d have to know when to spank and how to spank. The Mistresses in London have dominance to a science.